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  • Roshni

Transitioning from living independently in Boston to moving back home

Written by: Roshni

my mom, ba (grandma), and me during my graduation ❤️

I did four years of undergrad at Mass. College of Pharmacy and Health Sciences University (also knowns as MCPHS University.) I’m not going to lie, undergrad was a bit of a struggle for me. As I was graduating I didn’t know what I was going to do post grad, which is why I decided to take a gap year. Making the choice to take a gap year was not easy. Growing up it was always ingrained that school came first and after graduation there should always be a plan for the next step. Before going to MCPHS University my plan was to do undergrad and then go into PA school. However, somewhere along the lines of undergrad, I started to have doubts about PA school. The biggest thought that I kept thinking about was “is it really a career I will be happy in, especially in the long run?” There were a million other thoughts going through my head as well. When I started second guessing my future during my last year of undergrad, I realized I didn’t have a solid plan and taking a gap year was the best plan. Initially my mom didn't understand the concept of a “gap year,” she was worried that I may be wasting a year. To her it wasn’t just missing a year of school it was also a year that would hold me back from starting my adulthood life. However, sitting down with her, reassuring her that I would be working during the gap year helped ease her mind. After talking everything out she started to realize just how much I needed this and I gained her full support.

Summer 2018 was one emotional summer. First, I had just graduated. Second, Sweety was getting married that July, and Payal had just announced she was moving to California by the end of the year. It was a lot to take in. I put my uncertainties aside and focused on Sweety’s wedding (LifeByFour loves event planning especially family events.) I took this opportunity to spend as much time as I could with my sisters, which was made easier with all of the dance practices and wedding planning going on. Sweety's bachelorette was a week after I graduated, then as soon as we came back we started focusing on her bridal shower (which was a huge success in my personal opinion.) Then came all the dance practices and other last minute wedding planning details!

Sweety's Bridal Shower

Since the wedding was in July, and my apartment lease didn't end until the end of August, my parents thought it would be easier to move everything out of my apartment after the wedding was over. I remember the day I moved everything out, I was in the car with my brother and I just started to cry. My frazzled (rightfully so) brother asked me what was wrong and I couldn’t explain the sad feeling that was starting to sink in. I wasn’t sad because I don’t like being around my family, it had more to do with me knowing I was about to lose a bit of my independence. And I know how melodramatic all of this sounds (just imagine the bollywoodesque scene of me being in a car crying as my brother drives me back to my house *cue sad bollywood songs.*) But it's hard being a girl and having to move back home, especially a desi household. The independence I knew I had during college days were over, and although I am able to go into Boston, it can be annoying (and frustrating) asking for permission. More annoying because there are so many questions involved, "why are you going, who are you going with, what time will you come back home." I know these questions are asked out of love and so my mom doesn’t worry but when I do get permission, there are constant check in calls. But it helps having sisters who have my back and can reassure my mom that I am fine.

After this past year of being home, I am getting a grip on living back at home and balancing working full time, figuring out my next steps, and maintaining a social life. I have amazing friends that try to come over to my house whenever they are free, which is sometimes really needed and greatly appreciated. It is a struggle to manage all the different parts of your life after college (living at home with your parents, working full time, adulting in general) and as hard as the transition was, I am making the most of it! The best part is, I get to spend more time with my mom, especially since I am the only daughter at home right now. She never got to experience the full college life (living independently, trying new cuisines, and exploring new places.) Now, we go on mother daughter dates, pick different restaurants with different cuisines, and try to recreate meals we liked at home! Everyday I learn something new about her that I never knew. I’ve always known how strong and independent (even if she never got to live on her own) my mom is, but learning about her childhood, making the move to the U.S. at 21 years old, and how she raised us all is astonishing. This new tradition of mother daughter dates is something I know I will cherish forever, and it definitely makes living at home a perk! Moreover, I recently just realized that these are probably the last few years I have living with my family before life takes over. Eventually, I'll be married and it will be harder to come home as other life responsibilities take over. So instead of being sad, I try to take advantage of every moment I can to cuddle with my mom, have her put thil (oil) in my hair and give me a massage, and all the little things that occur in my day! Overall moving back home was hard, and I still miss my college days of living independently but I'm grateful for all of the memories I'm making now.


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