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  • Payal

From East Coast to the West Coast with all the bundle of emotions!

Written by: Payal

Boston (home base)

Wow! I still can not believe that I have moved to California! I never thought California would be in the books for me, especially because all my family is in Massachusetts along with Achal's (my husband), family. When we got married, we both naturally thought that MA was where we would settle, maybe go as far as New York, but never imagined moving cross country. The idea of CA was offered through Achal’s work and we went through various emotional phases to make the final decision to move.


First, we were excited- after all, CA is a destination state and you automatically imagine beautiful beaches, sunny skies, and the popular entertainment culture!


Then, we were nervous (at least I was a little bit more than Achal)- I mean, I had to leave my family, friends, stable job, fun co-workers, all of my favorite restaurants, hair stylist, trustworthy eyebrow threader, most importantly leaving the only place I was so familiar with. I kept thinking, “yes, CA sounds great but how can a place be great without family around?” This thought would get me tied up with guilty emotions. How could I leave my sisters? I would miss out on our weekly sister dates, family time especially with my two year old nephew, and strolling through the city with my best friend.


I knew Achal would be by my side, but could we really settle down in a place not knowing anyone? Our anchor was Achal’s cousins who lived in LA. His brother had also recently moved to San Francisco and highly encouraged us to take the plunge!


Foremost, we had to visit where we would move, which was Orange County. We flew out to check it out, as well as feel it out. We got all positive and good vibes which strengthened our decision to go for it!


Now the hard part, breaking the news to my family. I have a big, (when I say big, I have 30 immediate family members and upward of 200 + relatives that live in MA)! We are a close knit family where we constantly get together to celebrate holidays, birthdays, and each other’s milestones. Out of everyone, it was very hard for me to break the news to my sisters and mom! There were numerous times where I wanted to tell them but did not have the courage. To tell my sisters, I decided to take them out for dinner. My plan was to tell them before ordering dinner, but nope, I couldn’t do it. Then I thought maybe when we toast, nope, still couldn't get the words out. Before I knew it, we had finished dinner and were ordering dessert! As we were about to dig into the dessert, I decided to share my news then- so I started by saying “guys, I have to tell you all something." Everyone's spoons hover over the brownie and there is a moment of silence as they try to figure out what my news could possibly be, finally they all say “omg are you pregnant?!?!” I told them with a laugh "no I am not pregnant but Achal and I are moving to California!!" I could just feel the intensity rise. It was the emotion of separation anxiety which we never had to deal with before. They went through the same rollercoaster emotions I did but at the end I was more than happy to get their support! After telling my sisters, I told my mom, so my sisters would be able to help through the emotional rollercoaster process! Phew- now the news was broken and I felt relieved to have share all the feelings with my family.


We finally moved in October 2018. When we got here, we stayed busy exploring and settling in. We were having fun but there were moments when I would break down and cry because I missed everyone. Achal’s constant reassurance and a lot of FaceTimes with family and friends helped me through that bump. This was a journey for all of us and we realized that, yes, you can be “close,” to your family and friends even if you live a thousand miles away.


We were excited when family and friends came to visit us and it is so exciting to show them around our new favorite spots! And just like that, we have extended a home to our family out in the west coast!


It can be emotionally hard to move away from family but here are a few ways to cope:

  • Saying good-bye is hard, especially thinking about the right time and the right words, but always say your goodbyes in person.

  • Try to set a time when you will visit family (whether it is in few weeks or few months), this helps to give each other a peace of mind and makes it feel less like “you're going away too far,” to “I will see you soon”

  • Welcome plans for friends and & family to come visit you! This is the best because after your friends and family come to visit, they will feel comforted experiencing the area you live in! This will also help you build memories with your favorite people in a new place so it feels more like home!

  • Allow time for yourself to settle into your new surroundings- go outside and explore! Try new restaurants, cafes, and local events/activities!

  • Stay busy- try not to dwell on the move and feel excited!

  • Meeting new people: this is the toughest but not impossible. Try to go to local events, look on facebook for events, and meet ups in your area. Be patient and meet people organically through things you also enjoy! Slowly and surely, you will rebuild your social group!

It takes time to rebuild a life in a new place but this process also makes you leave your comfort zone. Looking back at our first year in SoCal, I can say that despite the challenges- we do not regret our decision! Yes, I found a great eyebrow threader, hair stylist, new co-workers, and slowly I am making new friends! :)

Looking forward to see what CA has stored for us and excited to share our journey!


California - New Home Base



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